Live Awesome

Let’s face it: we get angry sometimes. It makes sense, seeing as how anger is a natural human emotion. However, there is a lot to be learned about anger, and when we get a true understanding of this emotion we can learn how to use it to our advantage without losing our heads.

The first thing to do is to look at the cause of your anger:

1) Did you do something that you didn’t like?

2) Did somebody else to do something that you didn’t like?

Of course these are pretty general categories, but they do envelope most of the specific causes of anger. If your anger falls into category number one, there is something we can do about it. Category number 2, however, is a completely different story.

The case with category number 2, simply, is that you can’t control other people. It just can’t be done. Many, many people will try to tell you otherwise but it is a waste of time to even try. You are you, they are them. You can control yourself and the actions that you perform, but you are always going to be a level away from other people. You can become very close with these people and get to know them, but their inner workings (for the most part) will always be a mystery to you, and you can never know exactly how they think and perceive things.

Keeping this in mind, getting angry because of the actions of somebody else really doesn’t make sense. It’s the same case as worrying really; if you can’t control it, why waste time worrying or getting angry about it? We really must realize that there if we can’t control things, we must simply accept this fact and move on with life. And know this: if there are people in your life that are continually wronging you, instead of gettting angry and taking it out on yourself, there is always the option of simply removing these people from your life. We see this in a lot of marriages, where the two people are not getting along at all and stay in the marriage simply because they feel a sense of duty. Of course these situations can be rather complicated, but realize that there are always many options available to you.

Now, getting back to category number one. If you fall into this category, there are many things you can do. You CAN control yourself, as opposed to other people. If you have done something that has made you angry, you do have a choice (and you can do both):

1) Choose not to do it again

2) Observe what happened and use it in a positive, constructive way

 Let’s say, for example, that you are a university student (sorry, easy example for me!). It’s final exam writing time, and you’ve left you’re studying until the last day for some exam. At this point, you find that you are angry at yourself for what you’ve done. Now, instead of flipping out and wasting a bunch of time that you no longer have simply getting angry, doesn’t it seem like a better choice to use this anger and convert it into something constructive? First, see your error and tell yourself that you won’t do it again. Second, use this anger in a postive, constructive manner. Take the time left that you do have and use it efficiently and learn as much as possible before your exam. Salvage what can be salvaged and do the absolute best you can given your current situation.

And finally, LEARN from this situation! If you’ve created this discomfort for yourself in the first place, you can learn that it’s not something you want to do again. However, if this situation ever happens to you again, you know that you can work through it.

Anger in and of itself is really not a bad thing. How anger is perceived is really just based on how you deal with it. If you decide to waste time and lash out, you will see anger as being horrible and negative. If you channel it in positive, useful ways, anger can be a perfectly reasonable emotion.